Monday, February 6, 2017

HYPE, CLICKBAIT DAN BULLSHIT

Judul Clickbait

Hype!!!

 

clickbait

Hmmm... berapa lama? sekitar 6 bulan ngga nyentuh ini blog sama sekali dan jangan tanya.

Tahun 2016 gua nobatkan sebagai tahun penuh hype. Kenapa begitu? Dimulai dari No Man's Sky, Pokemon GO, Re Zero, dan lain-lain yang bikin gua ENEG banget liat timeline facebook.

Orang mudah sekali kena virus hype, dan sebagai orang yang anti mainstream gua benci sekali dengan hype, karena itu post ini kita bahas tentang Hype dan bullshit yang terjadi sepanjang gua menghilang.

No Man's Sky

 

no man's sky

Mungkin lebih cocok disebut "No Man's Game". Sejak trailernya dilihat banyak orang, umat manusia langsung mengelu-elukan game space adventure exploration survival satu ini. Dengan bangganya mempersembahkan quantiliun planet yang dapat dijelajahi di sepanjang game, mereka membangkitkan semangat umat mainstream manusia di bumi.

Hal yang paling gua senang adalah ketika NMS jatuh, yaitu pas dia release. Nggak lama setelah rilis, orang-orang mulai merasakan kejanggalan. Mana multiplayernya? Alah BT banget nunggu pesawat sampe tujuan, lah kok planetnya gitu-gitu aja si??

Ketika orang pada keheranan, gua ketawa, mampus lu, satu hype telah gugur dan gagal menimbulkan kesan di hati umat manusia.

Overwatch

overwatch
"Is this easy mode??" "Nerf this!"
Tau itu catchphrase siapa? oya, itu perempuan di bawah umur yang terjun ke medan perang.

Overwatch sudah mengecewakan gua sejak Blizzard bilang itu berbayar, tapi itu cuma sebagian. Satu karakter tertentu yang bahkan jauh hari sebelum release sudah banyak yang ngidolin. Dva.

Gua ngikutin banyak, banyak banyak banyak cosplayer. Bukan stalking, cuma pengen keep updated aja (jangan tanya). Gua ngga ngitung, tapi yakin sedikitnya ada ratusan cosplayer yang sudah cosplay Dva jauh sebelum Overwatch release.

Ini bullshit, karena mereka cuma cosplay satu karakter tertentu, dan taulah seperti apa cosplayer yang masih merasa dirinya fanpage kecil.

Masalahnya bukan karena gua ngga suka Dva, tapi sebenarnya gua ngga yakin cosplayer-cosplayer itu bahkan mainin Dva. Maksudnya gini, setau gua cosplay itu baiknya kita kenal karakter yang kita perankan, bukan sekadar ngikut hype kemudian inovasi sedikit (contoh: Dva pake pakaian dalam, Dva pake baju renang, Dva ngga pake baju, Dva...).

Gua ingat di BBM suka ada akun-akun palsu yang nawarin foto dan video porno kalo kita beliin dia pulsa. Biasanya dia bakal pasang profil yang menggugah, pelan-pelan makin kebuka fotonya dsbg. Dari cosplayer-cosplayer yang gua lihat ini, rasanya ngga ada bedanya. "if you want the uncensored version, follow me on patreon." dan sebagainya.

Gua bukan menghina cosplayer, tapi gua mengingatkan aja supaya cosplaynya ngga sekadar bullshit, apalagi cuma jadi bahan fap fap orang.

Pokemon GO

pokemon go
Oya, setelah ngomong agak vulgar tadi kita beralih ke old school. Game dengan teknologi Augmented Reality yang mutakhir, game yang disambut oleh semua kalangan masyarakat dari berbagai usia, Pokemon GO!!!!!1!11

Hadeh, game ini sempet ngehype, dan gila, 6.999.999.999 manusia di bumi mainin game itu (kecuali gua), ngga peduli apa dia tau apa itu pokemon atau ngga. Kebanyakan cuma ikutan hype, dan sampe-sampe menggempar dunia.

Hebatnya lagi, game ini cuma bertahan sekitar 2-3 bulan dan orang-orang kembali ke overwatch dan sun n moon, jadi syukurlah.

Re Zero Bla Bla Bla

re: zero kara hajimaru
Beralih ke anime, gua kecewa sekali dengan ketidakkreatifan penulis-penulis light novel dan fans-fans di Jepang. Pertama, penulis seolah berpikir kalau judul yang puaaaaaaaannnjaaaaanng itu bakal laku, dan kalo genre harem dengan sedikit oppai bakal menarik penggemar dan kenyataannya, benar. Kedua gua kecewa sekali dengan fans di Jepang karena penulis dan produser ngga akan menciptakan kisah-kisah oppai dan harem itu kalo bukan karena itu permintaan fansnya. Perlu diketahui, pasar yang mereka jadikan rujukan adalah pasar di Jepang karena... Jepang.

Khusus Re Zero Bla Bla Bla, bahkan sebelum selesai tayang ribuan cosplayer berbondong-bondong berpose sebagai Emilia, Rem, Ram, Processor, VGA, dsbg. untuk memuaskan hasrat para wibu. Kasus ini mengingatkan gua pada satu waifu yang tidak perlu disebutkan namanya. "Oh, udah banyak yang cosplay Emilia? Oke kita inovasi sedikit, Emilia pake bikini!!!" dan terus, terus, terus, terus.

Re Zero Bla Bla Bla ini buanyak banget yang suka, semua orang bilang itu anime bagus, berkualitas, bla bla bla... hadeh. Hype, sekali lagi itu cuma arus sungai hype yang luar biasa kenceng.

Kimi no Na wa

kimi no na wa
Kimi no Na wa bagus, dan ngga sekadar bullshit, dan gua belum nonton. Gua tanya ke temen gua "ini akhirnya dia orang pacaran ngga?" dia bilang "ngga" dan gua jadi males mau liat.

Kimi no Na wa juga membawa weeb dari yang kacangan sampe yang batangan bersatu untuk memuja penulisnya. Seolah anime yang turun dari langit, 6.999.999.999 manusia di bumi memujanya (kecuali gua). Karena hype yang deras sekali, gua jadi males mau nonton. Ibarat kita mau nonton star wars, kemudian sudah banyak orang yang nonton dan seseorang ceritain ke lu isi filmnya.







Oke jadi itu semua uneg-uneg hype gua. Sebagian mungkin ngga bisa dikategorikan sebagai hype, tapi gua ngga tau apa namanya jadi gua masukin aja.

Judul clickbait? Oh ya, itu buat clickbait aja, namanya aja clickbait.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Hyakku Monogatari [ENGLISH]

100 WAIFU Stories

Hyakku Waifu Monogatari


Uhh... yeah, don't ask me why updating the damn blog now of all time.

This is just a new series I want to start, called 100 WAIFU Stories, in style of 100 Ghost Stories (Hyakku Mongogatari).

For those who don't know, Hyakku Monogatari is Japanese game where you light up one hundred candles in a dark room. You sit forming a circle with your friends, and take turns to tell ghost stories. Each time a story is finished, a candle should be blown. Keep that up until you reach the 100th story. Once the last candle's off, a yokai (ghost) will show up.

So come along and play with me to tell a story about how you meet your waifu, if we're lucky, maybe a waifu will show up once we reach the 100th story. If you're interested to participate, send me a story with the following provisions :

1. Your waifu shall not be the same waifu whose story's already been told before (no same waifu).
2. Use english for your story.

Send your story via e-mail to akahito19eternity@gmail.com

With that being said, I'm gonna tell the first story about how I met my waifu.

Mai's Boob Fondling

2016, the year of hype. Anime, games, technology, like every aspect of my life got all the hype. During winter, there's a certain anime that everyone was talking about, and it started filling up my facebook timeline. As usual, this made me uncomfortable seeing a bunch of cute girls and boner-making gifs flying around.

So once it's finished airing, and all episodes are up, I went ahead and watch it. As you guess, it's called Musaigen no Phantom World (Myriad Colors of Phantom World).

What actually brought me to watch this Godforsaken series is because pictures and gifs of my pretty recent waifu, Mai Kawakami. You see the urban gif that shows Mai during her martial art attack preparation, it got mee too like Hestia's semi nude pics got me to watch Danmachi.

Anyway, so off to the anime, started from episode 1.

The music...

The Colors...

And the part that makes me fall in love right away with Mai....

The boing...

So if you watched Phantom World, the opening starts off with a music, Naked Dive by Screen mode. During the early beat, it showed a various asset of the main girls in the damn harem. There's Mai, Reina, Koito and Kurumi. Each of them has a different asset, Mai with her boobs, Reina with her booty, Koito with her legs and Kurumi is a loli.

What makes me fall in love with Mai is not only because she's extremely beautiful, she has a very beautiful beautiful marks under her eyes, but also that during the op, her boobs bounced in rhyme with the song beat. Well, of course the other's also rhyme with the song, but Mai's is special cause she;s the first one showed up. Like, "hey we should bring people in, let's put a boobs as the very first thing people see in the damn opening." and that workd. For me at least.

Mai Kawakami

Well, she's not actually fondling her boobs, she's just massaging her body to unleash some kind of energy inside her body and apparently it's a thing from china.

So yeah, as the urban legend said, once you see that gif of Mai fondling her body preparing for martial art attack, you'll be sucked in to watch the damn series. Be careful for boners...

Alright so that was my stupid ass story about how I met and fall in love with Mai Kawakami. It might be not as interesting as you guys's stories, so that's why I asked for your story, if you want to join the game and meet a waifu, send me your waifu story.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

You're Not You When You're Hungry [ENGLISH]

Anime Review : Ben-To

Ben-To


Ben-To

Ben-ToBen-To (2011) by David Production. This series is freakin' AWESOME. The fighting scenes are very well animated, obviously, it's a martial arts anime. But still, very awesome. The concept of fighting over half-price convinience store bento is just laughable at first, but as you progress with the story, this is something really serious apparently. Not only saving highschooler's pocket and stomach, the fighting over half priced convinience store bento resembles the 'try hard to achieve' concept, but with bento, it's somehow become comedy. I actually really like the story progression, execpt the overdosed lesbians and crossdressing in the series. I don't know what the author was thinking, but honestly, those lesbian and gay actions should be reduced (though there will be no season 2 since the series itself is not so popular). Anyway, I found a new waifu in this series which makes me think about a certain post on this blog that I haven't updated for 3 weeks but that's beside the point. So many of you guys made Shaga Ayame, the MC's cousin as waifu. To me, she's indeed a potential one. But my choice is Sen Yarizui, the Ice Witch. She's just so beautiful, and strong, and sexy too, just everything you might need. Oh yeah, she's kinda similar to Mai Kawakami. Anyway, this one is base off a light novel, and not that many anime adaptation from a LN is good like this one, so that's a plus. Fanservice is well managed, though the yuri actions are a bit too much. What lacking from this series is too few episodes and a slight romance/drama that doesn't work out. I didn't think that this anime will have a slight chance romance in the story between MC and one of the girls. I really hope they worked out on the LN though. If only they worked out in the anime, it would be awesome, and I'll definitely put this under the 'Legendary Series' category. AND if they reduce the yuri and yaoi actions, I'll give a 4/4. But too bad they didnt, so Overall score is : 3.5 / 4 Thumbs.

Character Review


Ben-To
You Satou, voiced by Shimono Hiro. He is the main character and typical of the idiot one. But honestly, I'm really glad this series is not a harem because the MC will not won anything in the end because harem male leads are pathetic. He's just too damn unlucky hero, but for some reason really strong in the battlefield. Score : A.














Ben-ToSen Yarizui, voiced by Ise Mariya. As I said, new waifu. She's kinda resembles Ouka from Koko no Uwasa ga El Palacio, it's my current favorite manga and Mai Kawakami from phantom world. But, when Ouka and Mai have a cheerful personality, Sen on the other side posses kinda gloomy and serious personality. Her eyes ir really sharp I love it. She's also strong but unexpectedly clumsy which made her got the title 'Ice Witch'. Sen is also a really caring senpai, plus point for waifu review. Score : A.











Ben-ToHana Oshiroi, voiced by Yuuki Aoi. I don't like her fujoshi personality. I like how she put comedies throughout the series by somehow narrating stuff, but leading to fujoshi's point of view, that's just oo much. Score : B.















Ben-ToShaga Ayame, voiced by Katou Emiri. She's the potential waifu that most people will pick. I personally like her too, and she likes the MC which is good. But my policy is to only get one waifu in every series, so that was a really hard decision to choose between Shaga and Sen. But I made up my mind and choose Sen as my new waifu. Sorry, Shaga. Score : A-.













Images from myanimelist.net